A Slice of Sky

Last month my editor gently asked me if I wanted to change my byline to something else besides: “Stay at home mum”. I realize that “stay at home mom” is grossly misleading, as I know many moms in this category, like me, spend a good deal of time on the road, in the park and in the waiting rooms of ballet centres and music studios.You might even find a handful of specimens in car workshops and libraries, reading books to themselves(for a change).

Nevertheless, I was rather flummoxed, nonplussed, puzzled. Should I change the byline to something that more accurately describes me? Furnish some details about my academic qualifications and love for music, literature and theological learning?

The obvious thing to do would be to ask the man why he’d suggested the change. The worst thing about absent-minded humans like me is that I can never remember to pop the question until the person is removed from my presence and I am in the midst of something horribly urgent, like seasoning chicken drumsticks to be steamed.

Hence, till this fine sizzlingly hot day, I am still clueless as to why a change in my byline is desired.

I did however go on a mental journey of sorts and came to the conclusion that I definitely want to stick to “Stay at home mom” . I find it important for several reasons. Firstly, I’m too busy and distracted to be able to come up with a nicely packaged and coherent description of myself. ( I blame this on the gas due to cooking.)

Secondly, I think it fantastic that I can write what I write – book reviews of ’serious’ books- as a full time mom. I’d like to encourage men and women to rethink commonly held assumptions that full time moms/ homemakers share the same passion for cakes, bakes, flowers, house decorating and shopping. Women at home form such a powerful force in shaping society- upholding traditions, families, values, religion- and thus, in the shaping of theological understanding in their children (orthopraxy?). Women therefore- specifically, women who see their homemaking as a calling- do have an interest and a desire for theological learning. Theology is as alive in the messy corridors of crayon-printed walls and sauce-painted sofas, as in the spotless corridors of seminaries.

As a homeschooling mother with two daughters, the desire to clarify my position blazes with a particular keenness. I believe that I must relay the message to my children that as women, they can grasp theological learning, regardless of whatever careers they choose. I hope with all my heart, that as young women, they will be able to apply their knowledge and practice of theological understanding to every area of their lives: on the frontline of apologetics, the frontier of cross-cultural communication, the depths of personal struggles and ,of course, in the wonderfully discomfiting adventure of being a stay-at-home-mum.

Last year, dd8 was ardent in scribbling in her journal. I was agog and delighted that she had caught the writing bug. I was also relieved that I wouldn’t have to arduously concoct ways and means to motivate her to write. She was all set, thought I, and I could lean back and relax.

Sigh.

This year, dd8 refuses to pen anything into her journals, now tucked away in remote corners of our dust- smothered house. My appeals to recover the journalling-mania of that bygone year, are greeted with groans aplenty. What went wrong? I ask.

Dd8 has suddenly, though, been overtaken by what I call, logic-craze. She beams ever so brightly when it comes to time for logic puzzles and gravitates towards strategy games in the bookstore. All of a sudden, she’s into factual writing where she arranges her (book ) summaries into main ideas and supporting details.

“Tell me about the the Chapters 3 and 4 .”
“Nothing much happened. …” and she rattles of the bare skeleton of two chapters of Black Beauty in 2 sentences.
What happened to elaboration and descriptive details?

Perhaps dd8’s going through a phase of discovery and learning. I’d like to think so. I’m excited that she’s thrilled with facts and organization and classification of information. But I do hope she regains that love of expressing herself by journalling. I won’t be biting my nails over it though.

The discussion about the Standards movement in the United States is pretty err…standard now. As parent who does not live in the United States, I shouldn’t have to worry about that kind of an issue. But in this (cliche) global village, it doesn’t take too long for issues as such to circulate to our end of the world. Much like flu- avian or otherwise.

Actually, I’m not too worried about benchmarks. Perhaps because my kids are still too little and busy with rearranging furniture and stretching the limbs of Martell’s Barbie dollies into tunnels, arches and four-legged mutants. Perhaps, in this pre-Monsoon season ( where art thou, Monsun Barat Daya?) , the heat clouds my vision and far-sightedness. Most likely it’s both.

The questions that beg to be asked really, I think, are:
1. How can my homeschool meet the standards/ benchmarks set by the MOE without compromising my convictions e.g. preserving time for play, encouraging intiative in directing own learning ?
2. How can I ignore this benchmark machinery without jeapordizing the future of my children i.e. higher education, making sure that their education is on par with others (irony there) ?

In short, how can I make the benchmark system/ apparatus work for me and my family instead of against us?

I think going into long debates about the validity of benchmarks are rather futile as unfortunately (or not) they are here to stay. However, this doesn’t mean that there should be no voices of dissent. Surely, dissenters can help to constrain the extent to which benchmarks count for a student’s education ?

I did say this would be a short post. Oh well.